via Daily Prompt: Panic

The end is ever-nearing.
The tears, they come without notice.
I have this panicky feeling
and a nauseating sickness
that for many years, I won’t see you.
For you it was nothing more,
than a lonely space-filler,
a pleasurable time-killer,
and an easy way to score.
I hope that I was more.
Deep inside my closed-off state,
I know what I possess.
I’m not one-in-a-million girls,
but once-in-a-lifetime in a dress.
You’ll look for me in many places.
You’ll look for an eternity.
It’s not unlikely that in ten years,
you will try to re-find me.
These words don’t come from arrogance.
They don’t come from a distressed conceit.
In fact, I will quietly let you go,
and if you ever re-find me,
I will embrace you with an open heart.
I will excitedly want to converse
about who we used to be together—
about the new places that you’ve traversed.
But, please understand me, darling,
there are pieces you’ll leave behind
that you will never get again.
That you will never find.
Because the moment that you walk away,
if you choose to close this door,
is the moment that I’ll let you go,
giving nothing more.
I hope to God these are only fears.
I hope they’re figments of the mind.
But, time will tell, won’t it dear?
Now, let’s just deal in time.