Constantly seeking the perfect responses–
that’s what a narcissist will do to your head.
Pulling yourself out of reaction mode
is a feat for only the dead.
The worst thing you can do while you’re living
is to unfriend your emotion completely.
But, everything becomes so fluid and dizzying.
You no longer see anything concretely.
So, here I am many years later
still questioning reality in my head.
“Remember, you are not a robot,”
Mrs. B. kindly said.
With that in mind, I turn to gratitude.
Thank you for all the difficult times.
While you did your best to destroy me,
it turns out I was just being primed.
A) You never succeeded.
In fact, I’m stronger than before.
I learned how to build from the ashes.
I learned how to fight and endure.
B) You gave me intense tragedy
and a severely broken heart.
While I hate giving you any recognition,
all of that just helped with my art.
C) I have learned how to gracefully navigate
intense and hard conversations.
Because, all of them compared to you
seem like tropical-paradise vacations.
So, you see in the end I really won,
neither defeated, nor trapped, nor caught;
because, I am loving friends with my emotion,
and I will never be a robot.